The Choice
by amianfreak19
Summary: Sinead is dealing with bullying at school. What kind of choices will she make? Who is going to be there for her? One-shot. For IHeartScience's the help contest. Rated T for cutting and suicidal thoughts.


**Hey, guys! **

**I saw this contest on one of IHeartScience's stories and became interested. It's not something I would've wrote about before, but now that IHeartScience introduced the idea to me, my eyes have been opened a little more. Let me give you a fair warning: it's a bit angsty. **

**If you listen to "Moments" by One Direction while reading this, you might shed a few more tears. That's the idea, though! **

**If you don't like angst, than you probably won't like this. Sorry!):**

**I'm sorry to keep you waiting with this long author's note, so I'll get on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The 39 Clues, National Geographic, or Webster's Urban Dictionary.**

**~Megan~**

Sinead Starling walked down the school hallway and reached her locker.

It was the end of the school day, and she was glad to leave. She loved school, but she was tired. Sinead had been up all night doing experiments. As she opened the door to her locker and looked at her reflection in the small mirror inside, she noticed the toll it had taken on her. Her eyes were red and bloodshot from lack of sleep. Her face was being weighed down by the purple bags under her eyes. She had almost fallen asleep during class.

Sinead would've had more rest if her brothers were helping her. The twins were currently away, trying to find a medical facility that could possibly treat them. Ned for his frequent headaches, and Ted for his blindness.

Of course, that wasn't the only reason. She was experiencing some difficult times at school, causing her to stay awake at night. And these difficulties were not bad grades.

She sighed and took a couple of books out of her locker, stuffing them in her backpack. After checking to make sure she had all of the books she needed for homework, she closed the locker.

"Hey, Starling."

Sinead felt a bead of sweat appear on her forehead. She recognized that voice. She knew it too well. It talked to her at the end of every school day.

Sinead slowly turned around. Sure enough, there stood the most popular girl in school, Jackie Bates, with her two sidekicks, Maddie and Carrie.

Jackie was tall and tan with glossy blonde hair. She was as skinny as a pole-not that she minded. Her clothes were stylish and hugged her skin. She was the head cheerleader, beating the other cheerleaders in the running by a mile. Even though she was the envy of every female student and had boys falling at her feet, she was a bully. People called her 'the Jackal' behind her back.

"You look like a nightmare! Did the little genius lose some sleep last night? I could see you drooling in the back of the classroom."

Jackie leaned her head against her arm and opened her mouth wide, doing an imitation. All three of the bullies snickered. Sinead felt her face turn bright red. Sinead looked around to see if anyone else was in the hallway; someone who could help her. She saw no one.

"The bags under your eyes are as purple as the gardenias my secret admirer gave me this morning."

Jackie tossed her hair over her shoulder, hoping that she had hit a nerve. In fact, she _did_ hit a nerve. Barely anyone ever paid attention to Sinead, especially not the boys. Everyone thought she was geek and a psychopath; her brothers, too. It wasn't her fault that she had been caught in an explosion that gave her scars, made Ted blind, and gave Ned frequent and painful headaches. Of course, no one in the school knew _why _it happened. Everyone assumed it was because of some lab incident.

"Whatcha got there, Starling?"

Jackie took a magazine and a book out of Sinead's hands. First, she took a look at the magazine.

"Hmm… 'National Geographic'."

She started flipping through the pages.

"Give-Give it back," Sinead said.

Jackie stopped flipping through the pages, looked up at Sinead, and smiled wickedly.

"You want it back? Fine."

She started to hand the magazine back to Sinead, but then ripped it in half. She threw it on the ground, the pages filling the space between Sinead and Jackie.

Sinead's lower lip quivered as she stared at the scattered pieces of paper.

"Oh, are you going to cry now? Wimp." Jackie snorted.

Sinead opened her mouth, but couldn't seem to form words.

"Now let's take a look at this book. 'Webster's Urban Dictionary'. Boooooooring. Only a nerd would read _this_."

Jackie took the book and tossed it on the floor. It slid into the gap under the lockers.

"That's better!" Jackie said.

Jackie glanced up at the clock.

"Well, we gotta go to cheerleading practice. Too bad, huh? I'm sure you would've enjoyed our company for a few more moments, right?"

Sinead didn't answer.

Jackie turned toward Maddie and Carrie.

"Oh, whatever. We don't need her anyway. We have _better _stuff to do than to talk to that…._thing_."

The three girls laughed and walked down the hallway, toward the football field. Sinead could still hear their laughter when they left the building.

Sinead let the words sting. Was she really just…..a _thing?_ Was that what people thought of her?

Then she finally realized it. That _was _what people thought of her. They didn't care for her. To them, she was just a wrapper on the side of the street, a piece of gum on the sidewalk; something to throw away and never have to see again; something that they didn't _want _to see again.

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she became conscious of it. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. She used the back of her hand to wipe it off, and wiped her eyes as well.

Sinead knelt down next to the lockers. She looked under them, and saw her dictionary. It was all the way against the wall. She put her arm under the lockers, hoping to grab the dictionary; it was too far away.

Just as she was about to give up, a bulky arm appeared next to hers and grabbed the dictionary. It pulled it out from under the lockers.

"Hey. Did you drop this?" Hamilton asked.

Sinead opened her mouth to say, 'no', but then thought about her new discovery. Why would he care if Jackie threw her dictionary under the lockers? Why would _anyone_ care?

Sinead nodded and snatched the book out of his hands. She quickly got up and started speed walking toward the door, eyes looking at the floor.

Hamilton laughed and got up from the floor.

"Hey, wait up!" he said.

However, Sinead didn't wait. She just quickened her pace. Of course, she was no match for the Holt, and he caught up in no time. They walked out of the building together.

There was a moment of silence as they walked in the street. Hamilton glanced at Sinead and examined her appearance.

"Sinead? Are you okay?"

Sinead looked up from the ground and gave him a small smile.

"Yeah. Of course I am. What would make you think otherwise?"

He frowned and examined her again.

"Well…You seem kind of—pale. And worried. And upset. Is something bothering you?"

Sinead laughed, but didn't it didn't have any feeling in it.

"No. I'm fine. Nothing's bothering me."

Hamilton frowned again. He wasn't convinced.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's probably just a lack of sleep."

Hamilton nodded. Sinead could tell that Hamilton still doubted her explanation a bit. She put on a fake smile, hoping to convince him. However, it just made him more worried, because he knew it wasn't real. He knew better than to ask her that question again, though. He knew that she wouldn't give him the real answer.

"Sinead? I have a big science test coming up on Thursday. It's kind of hard for me to understand, though. Could I maybe come over later tomorrow? So that you could maybe help me review?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure."

"Great!" Hamilton said, grinning. He hoped that a little enthusiasm would cheer her up a bit.

But it didn't cheer her up in the slightest. It just gave her more evidence to prove that her realization was correct. He didn't care for her. He didn't care about what happened to her. He was just using her to get better grades. That's all anybody needed her for. Well, the few that actually _did _need her. She looked down at the ground, hoping that she could hold the tears back for a few more moments.

"Here's your house, Sinead."

She picked her head up and glanced at her large house. Her parents were on vacation for a few days, so she had the whole house to herself. It was a large, three story house. It was made of yellow wood and a brown tiled roof. There were scattered windows here and there, bringing in plenty of sunlight.

"Oh. Okay," she said.

"Do you need me to walk you to the door?"

"No. I'll be fine."

Hamilton put his hands in his pockets.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later," he said.

Sinead looked down at the ground.

"Yeah. Later," she responded.

_Maybe, _she thought.

"….I guess I'll be going," Hamilton said.

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

They went their separate ways. Hamilton kept on walking down the street, planning on going to his house. Sinead walked up the path to her home. Hamilton glanced back to see her walk through the door of the house.

_I need to keep an eye on her_, Hamilton thought. _I have to make sure that she's all right. Her parents are away, and her brothers left to find a medical facility. I'm all she has left._

And he was, indeed, the only one she had left.

**~Megan~**

As soon as Sinead walked through the door, she ran up to her bedroom, which was on the second floor.

Sinead slammed the door shut and jumped onto her bed. She sobbed into her pillow.

_Why does everything have to be so hard? Why does everyone _need _to be so hard on me? What have I done to them? What did I ever do to _anything? _Why am I treated like this? _Sinead thought.

That was when she felt it. She felt that feeling again. It had come to her a few times before, but never as strong.

It felt as if the blood in her veins were boiling, waiting to escape; wanting, _needing_ a way out. She thought she could hear the blood pulse, especially in her wrist.

_Do it, _a voice in her mind whispered. _Do it! Where's the harm in it? It's not going to hurt you. It will only make you feel better._

Sinead took her face out of the pillow and stopped crying.

_You're right, _Sinead responded to the small voice.

She slowly got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom connected to her bedroom. After searching for some time in the cabinet under the sink, she finally found it.

A razor.

She carefully plugged it into the outlet. As it came to life, she started to sweat.

_Why are you so nervous? It can't hurt you! _Sinead told herself.

She slowly raised her wrist to the razor. She closed her eyes as it cut into her skin. At first, she felt pain. But, as she continued doing it repeatedly, she started to feel more comfortable.

_No one will ever know,_ she told herself. _It will blend in. It will blend in right with your scars._

When she finally felt that she had done enough, she opened her eyes and turned off the razor.

She almost screamed. Her arm was covered with blood. But then she calmed herself down.

_It's fine. You don't feel any pain, right? That means you're okay, _she said to herself.

She took a towel and quickly cleaned her arm. After awhile, it stopped bleeding.

_See? It's alright, _she thought. _No harm done._

But the harm _was _done.

**~Megan~**

The next afternoon, she was at her locker, when she heard the same voice from the previous day.

"Hello, Starling. You must really like us, if you keep on coming back."

Hearing that voice again, she froze. She felt nervous all over again, and she sweated even more than yesterday. Sinead turned around.

"How's it going? Entered any new science programs? The penguins of Antarctica could use you," Jackie said.

The three bullies snickered.

"No, Jackie. The penguins don't need her," Maddie said as Jackie looked at her.

"You're right, Maddie! The penguins _don't _need her." Jackie turned toward Sinead and continued. "_No one _needs her. She's just a big fat baby that has no purpose. She's useless. _Just like her brothers_."

That hit Sinead like cold hard stones. She wanted to lash out at them, show them how it felt; but she didn't talk or move at all.

"She's a freak, too. I mean, look at her arms! She looks like she's been attacked by a hamster! You didn't plan on one of your experiments to backfire on you. Did you, Starling?" Jackie asked.

Again, Sinead said nothing. She just breathed heavily. This was how people saw her.

"Hey, Sinead."

All four girls turned towards

. the speaker.

Jackie twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

"Hi, Hamilton," she said, sugarcoating every syllable.

Hamilton raised an eyebrow. He didn't know why Jackie was acting so strange. Even though Hamilton had a lot going for him, he couldn't figure out that she obviously had a crush on him. He was handsome, buff, and the quarterback of the football team, and those were the things that Jackie liked about Hamilton. There was no chance that he would return the feelings, though, because Hamilton hated Jackie.

"Am I still coming over later?" Hamilton asked Sinead.

Sinead gave him a nervous smile.

"Yeah. Of course," she answered.

"Okay. Bye," Hamilton said.

"Bye, Hamilton," Jackie said, still twirling her hair and sugarcoating her words. She waved slowly as he walked toward the door. He glanced back and raised an eyebrow at her again, but said nothing. He exited the building.

"He doesn't like you, you know," Sinead said, finally getting the courage to say something.

Jackie glared sharply at her.

"Go die in a hole," Jackie said.

The three bullies walked away and exited the building.

Jackie didn't know what an impact those words had made on Sinead.

Jackie didn't know, and she didn't care.

But she didn't know what would come next.

**~Megan~**

As Sinead walked home alone, those words echoed on and on in her mind.

_Go die in a hole._

_Go die in a hole._

_Go __**die **__in a hole._

_**Die.**_

She was tired of being made fun of. She was tired of being left out. She was tired of being alone. She was tired of hurting. She was tired of being ignored.

She had nothing left.

As soon as she stepped into her house, she knew what she was going to do.

She ran into the kitchen, which was right near the foyer.

Sinead checked the cabinet to see if it was still there.

It was.

She pulled the bottle of Ned's headache medicine out of the cabinet and cradled it in her hand.

_You take this, and it will be all over. No more suffering. No more pain. You'll finally be happy, _she told herself.

Sinead poured some pills out of the bottle and into the palm of her hand. Beads of sweat poured down her face. She bit her lip and got ready to throw the pills into the mouth.

Sinead opened her mouth wide raised her palm higher and higher. She realized that she was shaking. The pills began to rattle in her hand, just waiting to be taken, to be digested.

"SINEAD!"

The loud yell grabbed her attention. She looked toward the foyer, where Hamilton was standing in the doorway, arms outstretched.

Her mouth was still wide open, the pills as close to her mouth as they could be without being swallowed.

"SINEAD! Don't do it!"

She looked at the pills, and then at Hamilton, trying to decide what to do. As she looked the pills, she knew that she would no longer have to put up with the bullying, the pain, the ignorance of the other people; all of that would go away.

But then she looked at Hamilton. She realized that she could be happy. She still _did _have some things left.

She didn't need to do this.

Sinead took the pills and threw them into the garbage. She did the same with the medicine container.

When she looked back at Hamilton, she could see the joy in his eyes. He ran over to her from the foyer and gave her the biggest bear hug he had ever given anyone. She tried her best to return the hug, but he was squeezing her too hard.

He finally backed away from her, but still held her by the shoulders.

"I don't ever want you doing anything like that _ever _again. You scared me half to death. I thought you were actually going to do it. You should never _ever _even _think _about doing something like that, Sinead. I don't think we could live without you," Hamilton whispered.

For the first time in a long time, Sinead genuinely smiled.

Hamilton hugged her again, making it hard for her to breathe.

When he backed away, she smiled again.

"Ready to do some science?" she asked.

Hamilton grinned.

"Ready."

**~Megan~**

**Whew! I finally finished it!:D**

**Was it me, or were they a little OOC? Oh, well.**

**So, did you like it? I don't think it was that good.): But if you did like it, wish me luck in the contest!:D**

**Review! For me! *puts on puppy dog face* Please?**

**~Megan**


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